A'ight

I remember how confused people would get when I'd use the word "a'ight." Most could not grasp the nuance of such a tight phrase. Just like exchanging "phitty" for "fifty"; it has a tendency to confuse rather than enlighten. So sad.

But that's not what is really on my mind tonight. No, I'm actually thinking about being a'ight. I mean, am I? Alright? Am I?

I believe that each day is made up of positive things and negative things and perhaps some things which could be defined as neither positive nor negative...neutral I suppose. Overall though, each situation, word, look, touch, thought, etc. carries with it some kind of effect on your mood and even your perception of how the world is turning around you.

So am I a'ight?

Today was certainly more positive than negative. Most days are. I have a life that, if it were counted as the sum of experiences, would add up to what I would assume to be a comparitively high number! I've had a great life to this date. That's encouraging, but at the end of the day does it leave me "alright?"

My friend, the Diceman, Pastor Andrew Craig, spoke of how great it feels to look at the world more idealistically, a world filled with heroes who are also role models; inspirations to something greater than...(you can check that out on his blog, Roll o the Dice)

I want to feel that way tonight, but I can't. I find myself at the end of a good day still questioning whether I'm a'ight. I want to look at the world with light, not with darkness, but the brooding mass, a void really, stalks me and stands out against the light tonight. Philosophically, I know I go home each day to my bed a changed man. I know that I end today as a different Brent than the one that woke up this morning.

I hope that when I think back to this day, with all its changes, I remember it as being a'ight.

I want to live in a world inspired to end each day with idealism alive. I want to see light on people's faces. I want to smile. I want to cry with joy. I want to be a'ight.