O how I missed thee

Sweet sport. I've been playing floor hockey for near two years now. I'm not a lifelong ballhockeyer... I grew up on other sports like soccer and football, and later, basketball. These were my staples and I threw in some volleyball and wrestling. No hockey of any kind. Weird for a Canadian, prairie-raised, outdoor rink having boy. But true.

When Zion's Mens' Ministry decided to start a "Mens' Night" floor hockey became the game. It started out with a mixture: volleyball, followed by floor hockey, with table games and xbox outside the gym for those not playing sports. It was a nice enough mix. But hockey began to dominate as others dropped out... leaving only hockey players. So mens' night was now floor hockey night. It's been that way for close to two years now...

As mentioned above, I was a floor hockey novice. I had much to learn and I worked hard to do so! I did learn the game and I'm at least average now I'd say. Yeah, average. And that's not so bad. Lately though, I've been having lower back trouble and floor hockey is a tough game with a bad back or so I've found. I've thus been sidelined and even when able to play, had some other commitments these last weeks. Obviously, ball hockey has been on the back burner.

Well, some chiropractic and massage therapy have helped out my back, but I figured out that what would really help as well would be stretching combined with good activity. Basketball. Ever since I began working at Zion, I've wanted a bball night. I've played on the church softball team, been a regular at floor hockey, coach football every fall and spring, but I've been missing bball. My true love. It can't be beat as a playing sport for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm competitive enough that I enjoy any sport, hence two years hacking away at floor hockey, becoming average. But I'm actually good at football and basketball, and we all know what playing football does to guys as they get older (can we say unrecuperatable injury folks?)... so bball has been my thing.

I haven't played a solid game of adult ball for years. I used to play twice a week until both places got shut down cause the leaders with keys couldn't make it anymore. That happens. So I've been missing out. I tried community centres (in Vancouver, it's called small ball-so many asian people and I'm too big and tall - it's really not that fun). I tried outdoor courts (dirty ball, dirty shoes, dirty players). I looked into mens' league (not many out there really, but I have too many evening commitments to make that fly). Every once and awhile, I'd remember that I work at a church with a great gym and I should start my own night each week. Why has it taken so long?

Tonight we played for the first time. Ten guys (with more to come next week), full court, competitive basketball. Heaven in my backyard. I'm happy about having my game back :)

Nerdiness

What is your source of nerdiness? I believe firmly that each one of us, no matter how cool we might be, has an underlying nerdiness (geekiness, whatever)... so what is yours?

I've always loved GI Joe. And because of my love for GI Joe, I expanded from the toys to the comic book world, which led to other comic books too... so, officially, I'm a comic book geek. That's the truth and I'm sticking to it.

The weird thing is when you embrace your nerdiness and begin to allow it to intertwine with other areas of your life. For example, I've always been hyper-competitive. That showed itself in sports, games, school, sibling rivalry...pretty much everywhere. Well, that competitive nature has driven me to love complex games requiring strategy, the more complex generally, the better. Lately, my geeky love for comic books has been influencing my competitive streak through the game Heroclix.

Imagine that this game's rulebook, including various errata (for mistakes/clarifications) and information is over 125 pages. They have more than three dedicated websites running forums where the rules/gameplay is discussed ad nauseum and not only is it complex, it's enhanced by a love for the comic characters you're using to play! Awesome!

So I'm a geek. I've accepted that. Good thing I'm also a ninja (another geek thing to deal with later). What's your geek love?

You're a youth what?

Youth L-E-A-D-E-R. I take punks and lead them. It's what I do.

Tonight, I was even so bold as to say that I am a good youth leader. I said it to them, and I meant it. Arrogance? Perhaps. Pride? Maybe. Yet I know I said it because if it is true, I know why I would be a good youth leader: love. It's not goofiness (see ->), intelligence, knowledge, or anything else. Just love.

God told me long ago that I was to love people. If I did nothing else on this earth each day besides loving others, He would be pleased with that. Of course He didn't tell me this in person, like a father/son conversation, but I know He told me. I picked up on that early. Now, I've wasted some of my days trying to be angry, trying to be correct, trying to be funny, trying to be popular, trying to be authoritative, etc... and unfortunately, I still do. I'd like to say I love all the time, but I don't. I want to (most of the time) but I still don't.

If I am a good youth leader, it's because of love. My Father has groomed me and equipped me to love, even in difficult situations. He gave me that gift and He keeps bringing more of it up and out everyday. Some days I'm simply not a great vessel, but He continues to fill me up more and pour it out. It's a great thing, love. I like it.

Change of scenery

A very popular question asked (possibly throughout all time):
What is your favorite season?

For me, it's tough. Winter has Christmas and snowshoeing...much fun, you should try it! Spring has my birthday, my anniversary, and the greening of the countryside after the "death" of fall/winter. Summer has heat, which I like, and great weather to do things outside. Autumn has the coolest spelling by far, the multicolored panorama of beauty caused by leaf-changing, and football. Hmmmmm....

Anyhow, this post really has nothing to do with that, except for one thing about the seasons that is painfully obvious to all: they mean change. Most people hate change. Loathe it. Despise it! It breaks routine and forces thought; shatters the ease of pattern for stuttered baby steps; removes continuity and momentum, bringing about the need for additional effort. Change sucks.

I generally like change. I enjoy thinking on the spot and being forced to derive solutions quickly but effectively. I like the quickening of the pulse it brings to organizations as attention perks up when people realize something is different..."What is it?" In my life, change has almost always been a catalyst to improvement and "the next step." Change rocks.

So what's changed, Brent? What inspired you to write about this today?

I altered my office. New desk. New chaise-lounge chair (well, it's really old, but new to my office-thanks youth room!). New shelving. And overall, an improvement. More modern, more effective use of space, more me. I've finally moved in (that's what Karl said). I like it.

As I write this, I'm looking at things differently than I have for a long while. Sure, some of that is simply because my computer screen is facing a different wall, but some of it is a breath of fresh air. A welcome change.

Absent minded

Wow, I hadn't read any of my posts in context at all (one after the other)... I suppose that reading them thusly could give the impression that it has been a very difficult time for me lately. I have been going through a lot, but I would say that I'm flying in a very positive sky these days (and no, I'm not high on anything).

The therapy I mentioned last post was/is massage therapy and before you think less of me for getting a massage and complaining about it, you should try a massage therapist. I have back/hip/shoulder issues and I've waited far too long to deal with them. Screwed up muscles get very angry with you and they scream A LOT. So massage therapy hurts. BAD. Take my word for it. I literally lost my breath a couple times last session and truly believe I was as close to crying from physical pain as I've ever been in my adult life. Ouch!

Times of realization are pretty cool and seeing as we just blasted through Canadian Thanksgiving, I would like to give thanks to God for His grace to me these last months and His blessing me with a loving wife, great friends/family, and a meaningful vocation in which to invest my days. Be blessed!

I'm in Therapy

If you read the title, you might be thinking:
1) FINALLY!
2) What kind of therapy, Brent?
3) Dude is getting weird...

And it doesn't really matter what you're thinking I suppose...it just matters what kind of pain I'm in. And boy, is therapy tough. I don't really think I like it even, but it is supposed to make me healthier and I want that.

Us ninjas have it rough.

Big Pillow

Are you a Scrubs fan?

I've been watching this show (from Season one through the middle of season 4 now) on DVD and have been surprised with the bold qualities given to the characters, even their relationships with one another. They are so often stark contrasts to one another, reminding me that this is indeed a TV show (and these personalities would never "work" in real life), yet at the same time, alluding to the quirkiness and unbelievable nature of our realities. I really enjoy the balance of comedy and drama on the show.

Well, I bring this up because there are alot of obstinate personalities on Scrubs and it seems that the best way to have those personalities interact on a TV show is to provide them with "pillows" that they can pound on episode to episode. JD is a pillow and so is Elliot. Ted is the ultimate pillow. These softies get punched and poked and kicked and generally mistreated and then go on. They may complain a little and every once and awhile receive some genuine compassion, but mostly, they just take it. I've been shocked lately to realize I am mostly pillow too.

I've always been a "strong" personality. I still am for the most part, but dealing with teens on a regular basis has pillowized me I believe. I don't like to get mad, or especially yell. I can be firm, but repetitious scolding is more annoying to me than to the scolded I've observed. So, eventually I pillow out and just take it.

Pillows cannot discipline. They can't really lead. They can't motivate others. They're just soft; easy to push and prod. I know that teens don't need pillows as leaders, they need rocks. Firm, solid, consistent. So why is being a pillow easier? Cause it allows you to put the blame on everyone else and their misbehavior, not on your inability to lead. So if I know that, where's the rock I used to be?

Madness

As Ashley so subtly points out (comments here) I have let another month slip away. Ahh the bravado of youth, moved to motion by the stream of loss yet never making progress against the current of dispair. Sigh. I will miss you 08.07.

Ok, so I figure that stream of posting has certainly run its course (if it ever had a course to begin with). Sorry about that :)

Now, life this last year has been different from what I was expecting. I've ended up with a couple of internet habits that have drained the online time resevoir that I own (eBay and Heroclix, not porn, thank you). You see, I believe that everyone of us has a storage of allowable internet reading/surfing time and that amount varies significantly for each of us. Just as a world-class marathon runner can dip into his willpower and keep going for much longer than any of us could imagine, some people have that willpower accessible to prolong their internet time. I do not have this gift. My time is finite and when it gets used up, I can't do anymore (away from me foul computer!!). So my blogging has been the casualty of other interests. As much as I attempt to remedy this, it is an inevitable battle, destined for defeat...

Which brings up the concept of priorities.
pri·or·i·ty /praɪˈɔrɪti, -ˈɒr-/[prahy-awr-i-tee]
1. the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc.
2. the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence.
3. the right to take precedence in obtaining certain supplies, services, facilities, etc., esp. during a shortage.
4. something given special attention. –adjective
5. highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.

You know, I don't think that many people in this world understand the concept and how it makes bold statements about their lives (mine included). You see, I'm a youth pastor and I'm proposing a change of date for the youth night (from a Friday to a Tuesday) and have been riddled with opinion about why Tuesdays are bad. Now, some of the reasons are legitimate and important while other reasons are mere excuses or poor assumptions, but all of them reflect priorities. For example, if you can't make it to youth because you have dance, that's a perfectly justified reason and it reflects that dance is more important to you than youth group on Tuesdays, because that's what you would choose. You can make the choice to be involved in all kinds of additional youth things (special events, small groups, Friday service, etc) in the absence of Tuesdays. You would still be involved and maybe would grow to prioritze Tuesday youth over dance in the future, but maybe not. Either way, there are choices to be made and each and every one of us reveals our priorities in these choices.

I really believe that I understand the concept of priority...and then I think about my life and realize what I reveal about what is important to me....
I never call my friends. I seem content to hermit myself and do my own thing most of the time. Is that a quality priority?
I rarely talk to my family. I do make sure to see them when I can (getting to family weddings, home for Christmas, etc), but their day to day lives are a mystery to me. Is that a quality priority?
I have read hundreds of comic books this month and barely read my Bible. Is that a quality priority?
I see myself as an equipper and trainer of leaders and haven't recruited a solid group of leaders to train since the DOC days. Is that a quality priority?

I could go on, and I think if you take the time to look at your life, so could you.

This isn't about judgement and sad feelings and making decisions to change the world because I now know these areas in my life are weaknesses and reflect poor choices...lack of priority. It IS about accountability: something that is lacking in many of our lives. Being accountable to people who have permission to challenge you about your priorities and what you're choosing will make a world of difference! Bringing up these choices on a regular basis and shooting light into areas of darkness (where you're blind to see what's really going on)...that could help alot.

What do you think?

In Memorium

Well, I missed the chance to score again (get your mind out of the gutter!). Sigh.
Another flame out instead of a fireball.
It's really a shame.
And as long as this blog exists, I'll have the reminder of this futility staring back at me from the right-hand column...
I've missed another month.
June has come and gone with nary a posting from yours truly.
"06.07" will never reside in my archives list and I am saddened by this injustice.
The only way to overcome this loss is to move on and honor my fallen comrade by ensuring that I never let this happen again!! NEVER!! Never.
I'll never understand why it seems to take a tragedy of such proportions to stir us to movement.
Lift your glasses people! TO 06.07! May he rest in peace.

This is why I'm hot...

I'm genuinely excited about this!!

Ok, ok, this is why I'm not. But I still can't wait to read it!