Losses

I've always been competitive. Those who know me best might suggest that it is my most defining characteristic (top 5 for sure), though the negative aspects of a competitive spirit have been dramatically lessened in me over the last decade; a number of choice tales refuting this claim may yet exist but I will make it nonetheless.

Those who are hyper-competitive (and their loved ones) will easily acknowledge that losing is perhaps one of the hardest things to accept in life. Card games, sports, mental tests, whatever it might be, losing is always the worst possible outcome...

Before I'd even moved out to Mission years ago, I had heard the stories of another man's competitive streak and laughed at how seriously he would take on anything athletic. These stories received unequivocal confirmation when I saw him lacing up soccer cleats for the mens' 40-yard dash at the church picnic! This man knew how to compete!!

This past calendar year, I've encountered some dramatic changes, one of those being a return to Mission for work. I have been expecting the opportunity to re-ignite some friendships that had been left smoldering while life (and I) moved on, one of those being with the man mentioned above. In a year marked by significant losses (two grandparents and an uncle), one more was added to the record on Tuesday afternoon when Myron Berg perished in a car accident.

I hate to lose. And for reasons I'm finding difficult to pin down, this one hurts more than any of the others from these past months. There have been exceptional wins this season and I'm way above .500, but the losses have been painful and this one has been hard to let go. It's still fresh and the wound is far from closed... I hate to lose.

Nothing can change what has already occurred. It's done and the loss has been permanently etched in the books. The season is almost over, a new one is just around the corner and yet, even a successful season can't remove the taste of ending with such a bitter defeat. It sucks. And I can't really say much more.

R.I.P. Myron and keep those cleats dusted off, cause when I get Home someday, it's on.

See it LIVE

Why do we humans have such short memories when it comes to the positive, enriching moments/experiences and LOOOOOOONG memories when it comes to things that have hurt us or given birth to negativity? We're weird creatures...

I, far too easily, neglect to remember how pure live music is. Participating in a performance as it happens reveals the truth about the artist... flaws, gifts, timing, passions, skill... and lays them bare before the world. Great artists rarely fail to make the experience memorable with honest, natural efforts that seem to stroke fans right where they want it, while poor artists disappoint consistently, exposing weak motivations and dismissive disdain for their followers as long as cash rolls in.

Ahhhh, I'm no qualified critic! I simply want to remember to do more things that I love: time with my wife, visiting friends and family, snow-shoeing in the mountains, playing/watching/listening to live music, games.......sigh...... life.

Thanks Lance et al for a wonderful time last night in Vancity.

Collectibility

Are you a collector? I sure am. I honestly can't think of a time in my life where I haven't been collecting something, even if sporadically... and I am convinced it's all my Grandma Thompson's fault! I don't want that to sound negative, so I'll elaborate:

When my brothers and I were really young, my Grandma started a collection for each of us. Wow, I don't remember what they were though... I know one of my bros was bottle openers and I definitely was the pen guy. Every visit, Christmas, birthday, whatever brought with it a bag of pens, all of them different, almost always different from the ones before (not too many dupes) which meant that she kept track of them at least to some degree. Interesting....

Well, being a boy growing up in the 80s, it meant that I had to play with either Transformers or GI Joe. If you look at my blog, I'll give you a guess as to which one it was!! ;) Thus was born another collection, though admittedly, not so unique from other boys my age. Well, in comes Grandma T again too! Because I liked the toys, she figured I might as well enjoy the comic book also. So she'd buy me an issue here or there, no big deal. Once I got to the 5th grade, I decided I had to have it every month! Luckily, in Thunder Bay there was a comic shop and I visited often enough to buy my little book. Nice.

When we moved to Calgary (grade six), we lived a block or two from a neighbourhood comic shop with video games. I was there something like 5 days a week! Did I mention it was in the same plaza as the Mac's and candy dreams?? Slushies, yeah! And the owner of the shop was my soccer coach!! WOAH! Needless to say, GI Joe alone could not hold all my growing interests... I now needed to read Spiderman, the X-Men and the Hulk... which grew and grew and grew until at the end of the 10th grade, I finally quit.

And started buying basketball and baseball cards!

Then it was CDs.

Then it was DVDs.

After 15 years in remission, back to comic books (sucked in by GI Joe again!! bastards! did you know there's a movie coming out this summer?).

Add in Heroclix.

Still getting CDs and DVDs.

So how do I stop? Do I really want to? Hmmmmmmmmm........

I wonder

who's still out there?

I haven't posted anything for over a year! Maybe time for some introspective meandering... hmmmm.....

Anyone still out there?

How big's your back seat?

No no no no no no no, I am NOT asking about the size of your butt. This is a legitimate question relating to priorities (again). Things that take less priority get "put in the back seat", "on the back burner", "hidden in the back of the closet", etc... though a couple of those phrases could also refer to inappropriate teenage hijinks! Ha.

Anyhow, it seems to me like I'm driving a mini-bus these days (i.e. - lots of back seats) and I just keep chucking everything back there and now there's a pile of stuff all over the seats. Mind you, I've completed some important things and been working steadily....I'm being picky but in a healthy, evaluative way I hope!

One month into 2008 and I'm cleaning out the back seat (which is far too full).

So what about the size of your butt?? ;P

Yeeeee hah, family for the first time!

Well, I am about to meet my wife's sister for the first time. Being a Polander (is that right?), she has never made it across the pond to visit, nor have we made it there. Alex was in Poland the year before we got married, so that's the last time she's even seen her!!

For ten days, we'll be family in our home! AND, to top it all off, because Becca has finally come over to N.America, Alex's mom and other sister will be coming for the weekend too! That makes it Brent (1) and Morataya Delgado girls (4). Ouch :P

It's going to be great to have this group together for the first time EVER!!!

What did I miss?

November 17th.

Becoming less of a last-minute guy has real consequences. There was a time in my life when I could do anything anytime...a real free spirit! Not only that, but I could improvise at the drop of a hat. Last-minute, no problem!

The first problems with 'last-minuteness' came up within personality conflicts with people at work. "What?!? You want me to plan HOW far ahead? You're insane! Why would you do such a thing?" Well, needless to say, some give and take resulted from these mature conversations and I learned to plan further ahead while others learned to 'go with it' a little more... ahhh the beauty of balance.

Now, it makes sense to me to plan some things months in advance. Set dates, do legwork, prepare for changes, etc. It works. This past Saturday, however, I paid the price...

Lance in concert at House of James. Out.
Pre-release Mutations and Monsters Heroclix Tournament in Richmond (exclusive to only 30 people...I was signed up 3rd and had to cancel once I realized the date!!). Out.
UFC 78: Bisping vs. Evans. Out.

All because at a youth pastors' lunch in Cloverdale in September, we decided to plan a suburb-city event for our youth. Cloverdale Younite. We set a relatively random date of Saturday, November 17th and rolled out of the meeting. Sounded great at the time.

In fact, it wasn't until Sunday evening, November 11, that I realized all of these events were converging upon each other....a huge mess of social impossibility. And all because of a random date set months before at a lunch. Oh, to have Last-Minute Man back again... sigh.

Of course, that would've put me into awkward territory, having to decide between Lance and Heroclix (remember, my first ever exclusive pre-release). Glad I didn't have to choose :)
The Younite went well also, so I'd say it was a win all around. Though Last-Minute Man would've had some greater flexibility, PLAN-IT-AHEADER (a lame super hero name to be sure) made some early choices that saved later turmoil (having to choose between Lance and HC). Go dude!

In other news, my LT Panthers were knocked out of the playoffs last Thursday, getting thoroughly beaten by the unbeaten John Barsby Jr. Dawgs (from Nanaimo). Quarter-finals of the provincials. Not bad, but this team could have done more had they worked together better. Always next year ;)

Games

Day 2 of the Basketball Renewal Sessions begins in less than an hour. Awesome.

Football playoffs begin for my team tomorrow as we travel 3 hours to face our #2 seeded opponent. Should be fun. Nothing quite like a bus trip with a bunch of stinky 14/15 year olds ;P

I almost purchased Settlers of Catan (plus Seafarers and Cities & Knights) yesterday but I didn't pull the trigger. I love that game and my wife and I are hosting games with a friendly couple on Sunday (haven't seen them for awhile) so it made sense to play that then. But I didn't get it. I still think I'm saving up for the next Heroclix set instead...we'll see.

Games are very enjoyable for me. I am competitive like crazy, so sports are good, board games are good, group games are good, pretty much anything. Sudoku and Solitaire are even fun for me! The only games I don't like are emotional games, like between people who are deceiving each other. Those games suck. Yup.

That is a weird note to end on, but there it is. Game-playing: good all the time unless you're hurting someone! HAHAHAHAHA!

O how I missed thee

Sweet sport. I've been playing floor hockey for near two years now. I'm not a lifelong ballhockeyer... I grew up on other sports like soccer and football, and later, basketball. These were my staples and I threw in some volleyball and wrestling. No hockey of any kind. Weird for a Canadian, prairie-raised, outdoor rink having boy. But true.

When Zion's Mens' Ministry decided to start a "Mens' Night" floor hockey became the game. It started out with a mixture: volleyball, followed by floor hockey, with table games and xbox outside the gym for those not playing sports. It was a nice enough mix. But hockey began to dominate as others dropped out... leaving only hockey players. So mens' night was now floor hockey night. It's been that way for close to two years now...

As mentioned above, I was a floor hockey novice. I had much to learn and I worked hard to do so! I did learn the game and I'm at least average now I'd say. Yeah, average. And that's not so bad. Lately though, I've been having lower back trouble and floor hockey is a tough game with a bad back or so I've found. I've thus been sidelined and even when able to play, had some other commitments these last weeks. Obviously, ball hockey has been on the back burner.

Well, some chiropractic and massage therapy have helped out my back, but I figured out that what would really help as well would be stretching combined with good activity. Basketball. Ever since I began working at Zion, I've wanted a bball night. I've played on the church softball team, been a regular at floor hockey, coach football every fall and spring, but I've been missing bball. My true love. It can't be beat as a playing sport for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm competitive enough that I enjoy any sport, hence two years hacking away at floor hockey, becoming average. But I'm actually good at football and basketball, and we all know what playing football does to guys as they get older (can we say unrecuperatable injury folks?)... so bball has been my thing.

I haven't played a solid game of adult ball for years. I used to play twice a week until both places got shut down cause the leaders with keys couldn't make it anymore. That happens. So I've been missing out. I tried community centres (in Vancouver, it's called small ball-so many asian people and I'm too big and tall - it's really not that fun). I tried outdoor courts (dirty ball, dirty shoes, dirty players). I looked into mens' league (not many out there really, but I have too many evening commitments to make that fly). Every once and awhile, I'd remember that I work at a church with a great gym and I should start my own night each week. Why has it taken so long?

Tonight we played for the first time. Ten guys (with more to come next week), full court, competitive basketball. Heaven in my backyard. I'm happy about having my game back :)

Nerdiness

What is your source of nerdiness? I believe firmly that each one of us, no matter how cool we might be, has an underlying nerdiness (geekiness, whatever)... so what is yours?

I've always loved GI Joe. And because of my love for GI Joe, I expanded from the toys to the comic book world, which led to other comic books too... so, officially, I'm a comic book geek. That's the truth and I'm sticking to it.

The weird thing is when you embrace your nerdiness and begin to allow it to intertwine with other areas of your life. For example, I've always been hyper-competitive. That showed itself in sports, games, school, sibling rivalry...pretty much everywhere. Well, that competitive nature has driven me to love complex games requiring strategy, the more complex generally, the better. Lately, my geeky love for comic books has been influencing my competitive streak through the game Heroclix.

Imagine that this game's rulebook, including various errata (for mistakes/clarifications) and information is over 125 pages. They have more than three dedicated websites running forums where the rules/gameplay is discussed ad nauseum and not only is it complex, it's enhanced by a love for the comic characters you're using to play! Awesome!

So I'm a geek. I've accepted that. Good thing I'm also a ninja (another geek thing to deal with later). What's your geek love?

You're a youth what?

Youth L-E-A-D-E-R. I take punks and lead them. It's what I do.

Tonight, I was even so bold as to say that I am a good youth leader. I said it to them, and I meant it. Arrogance? Perhaps. Pride? Maybe. Yet I know I said it because if it is true, I know why I would be a good youth leader: love. It's not goofiness (see ->), intelligence, knowledge, or anything else. Just love.

God told me long ago that I was to love people. If I did nothing else on this earth each day besides loving others, He would be pleased with that. Of course He didn't tell me this in person, like a father/son conversation, but I know He told me. I picked up on that early. Now, I've wasted some of my days trying to be angry, trying to be correct, trying to be funny, trying to be popular, trying to be authoritative, etc... and unfortunately, I still do. I'd like to say I love all the time, but I don't. I want to (most of the time) but I still don't.

If I am a good youth leader, it's because of love. My Father has groomed me and equipped me to love, even in difficult situations. He gave me that gift and He keeps bringing more of it up and out everyday. Some days I'm simply not a great vessel, but He continues to fill me up more and pour it out. It's a great thing, love. I like it.

Change of scenery

A very popular question asked (possibly throughout all time):
What is your favorite season?

For me, it's tough. Winter has Christmas and snowshoeing...much fun, you should try it! Spring has my birthday, my anniversary, and the greening of the countryside after the "death" of fall/winter. Summer has heat, which I like, and great weather to do things outside. Autumn has the coolest spelling by far, the multicolored panorama of beauty caused by leaf-changing, and football. Hmmmmm....

Anyhow, this post really has nothing to do with that, except for one thing about the seasons that is painfully obvious to all: they mean change. Most people hate change. Loathe it. Despise it! It breaks routine and forces thought; shatters the ease of pattern for stuttered baby steps; removes continuity and momentum, bringing about the need for additional effort. Change sucks.

I generally like change. I enjoy thinking on the spot and being forced to derive solutions quickly but effectively. I like the quickening of the pulse it brings to organizations as attention perks up when people realize something is different..."What is it?" In my life, change has almost always been a catalyst to improvement and "the next step." Change rocks.

So what's changed, Brent? What inspired you to write about this today?

I altered my office. New desk. New chaise-lounge chair (well, it's really old, but new to my office-thanks youth room!). New shelving. And overall, an improvement. More modern, more effective use of space, more me. I've finally moved in (that's what Karl said). I like it.

As I write this, I'm looking at things differently than I have for a long while. Sure, some of that is simply because my computer screen is facing a different wall, but some of it is a breath of fresh air. A welcome change.

Absent minded

Wow, I hadn't read any of my posts in context at all (one after the other)... I suppose that reading them thusly could give the impression that it has been a very difficult time for me lately. I have been going through a lot, but I would say that I'm flying in a very positive sky these days (and no, I'm not high on anything).

The therapy I mentioned last post was/is massage therapy and before you think less of me for getting a massage and complaining about it, you should try a massage therapist. I have back/hip/shoulder issues and I've waited far too long to deal with them. Screwed up muscles get very angry with you and they scream A LOT. So massage therapy hurts. BAD. Take my word for it. I literally lost my breath a couple times last session and truly believe I was as close to crying from physical pain as I've ever been in my adult life. Ouch!

Times of realization are pretty cool and seeing as we just blasted through Canadian Thanksgiving, I would like to give thanks to God for His grace to me these last months and His blessing me with a loving wife, great friends/family, and a meaningful vocation in which to invest my days. Be blessed!

I'm in Therapy

If you read the title, you might be thinking:
1) FINALLY!
2) What kind of therapy, Brent?
3) Dude is getting weird...

And it doesn't really matter what you're thinking I suppose...it just matters what kind of pain I'm in. And boy, is therapy tough. I don't really think I like it even, but it is supposed to make me healthier and I want that.

Us ninjas have it rough.

Madness

As Ashley so subtly points out (comments here) I have let another month slip away. Ahh the bravado of youth, moved to motion by the stream of loss yet never making progress against the current of dispair. Sigh. I will miss you 08.07.

Ok, so I figure that stream of posting has certainly run its course (if it ever had a course to begin with). Sorry about that :)

Now, life this last year has been different from what I was expecting. I've ended up with a couple of internet habits that have drained the online time resevoir that I own (eBay and Heroclix, not porn, thank you). You see, I believe that everyone of us has a storage of allowable internet reading/surfing time and that amount varies significantly for each of us. Just as a world-class marathon runner can dip into his willpower and keep going for much longer than any of us could imagine, some people have that willpower accessible to prolong their internet time. I do not have this gift. My time is finite and when it gets used up, I can't do anymore (away from me foul computer!!). So my blogging has been the casualty of other interests. As much as I attempt to remedy this, it is an inevitable battle, destined for defeat...

Which brings up the concept of priorities.
pri·or·i·ty /praɪˈɔrɪti, -ˈɒr-/[prahy-awr-i-tee]
1. the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc.
2. the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence.
3. the right to take precedence in obtaining certain supplies, services, facilities, etc., esp. during a shortage.
4. something given special attention. –adjective
5. highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.

You know, I don't think that many people in this world understand the concept and how it makes bold statements about their lives (mine included). You see, I'm a youth pastor and I'm proposing a change of date for the youth night (from a Friday to a Tuesday) and have been riddled with opinion about why Tuesdays are bad. Now, some of the reasons are legitimate and important while other reasons are mere excuses or poor assumptions, but all of them reflect priorities. For example, if you can't make it to youth because you have dance, that's a perfectly justified reason and it reflects that dance is more important to you than youth group on Tuesdays, because that's what you would choose. You can make the choice to be involved in all kinds of additional youth things (special events, small groups, Friday service, etc) in the absence of Tuesdays. You would still be involved and maybe would grow to prioritze Tuesday youth over dance in the future, but maybe not. Either way, there are choices to be made and each and every one of us reveals our priorities in these choices.

I really believe that I understand the concept of priority...and then I think about my life and realize what I reveal about what is important to me....
I never call my friends. I seem content to hermit myself and do my own thing most of the time. Is that a quality priority?
I rarely talk to my family. I do make sure to see them when I can (getting to family weddings, home for Christmas, etc), but their day to day lives are a mystery to me. Is that a quality priority?
I have read hundreds of comic books this month and barely read my Bible. Is that a quality priority?
I see myself as an equipper and trainer of leaders and haven't recruited a solid group of leaders to train since the DOC days. Is that a quality priority?

I could go on, and I think if you take the time to look at your life, so could you.

This isn't about judgement and sad feelings and making decisions to change the world because I now know these areas in my life are weaknesses and reflect poor choices...lack of priority. It IS about accountability: something that is lacking in many of our lives. Being accountable to people who have permission to challenge you about your priorities and what you're choosing will make a world of difference! Bringing up these choices on a regular basis and shooting light into areas of darkness (where you're blind to see what's really going on)...that could help alot.

What do you think?

In Memorium

Well, I missed the chance to score again (get your mind out of the gutter!). Sigh.
Another flame out instead of a fireball.
It's really a shame.
And as long as this blog exists, I'll have the reminder of this futility staring back at me from the right-hand column...
I've missed another month.
June has come and gone with nary a posting from yours truly.
"06.07" will never reside in my archives list and I am saddened by this injustice.
The only way to overcome this loss is to move on and honor my fallen comrade by ensuring that I never let this happen again!! NEVER!! Never.
I'll never understand why it seems to take a tragedy of such proportions to stir us to movement.
Lift your glasses people! TO 06.07! May he rest in peace.

This is why I'm hot...

I'm genuinely excited about this!!

Ok, ok, this is why I'm not. But I still can't wait to read it!

Priorities

Wow. I mentioned last time that I've purchased a home and that my wife and I are embarking on the great, steep learning curve that is ownership! Well, we've yet to make a mortgage payment (first one due in a week) and are wondering how this is going to change our lives...


There are some requisites when you buy a home that didn't seem so important as renters. For example, furniture. Our furniture is ugly. It looks even more ugly in a nice looking place! Now, don't get me wrong, our last home was great, but it was a basement suite. Though it had good natural light for a basement suite, it simply doesn't compare to a fourth floor apartment... so we're upgrading the furniture to this lovely couch and loveseat. Now we're just waiting (they don't arrive until July!):


Ok, then there are less frivilous things like TVs (we must get a plasma or LCD screen soon - we'll see) - oh yeah, that's really frivolous... wait.... like a vacuum cleaner! That's not frivolous at all! In fact, our carpet is crying out to us, even now! Now, I know what you're thinking... Brent's been living on his own for more than 10 years, why doesn't he have a vacuum cleaner? Well, the answer to that is that I've always lived somewhere where there already was one in place, or it was unnecesary, like our tile-floored basement suite. So there. And now Alex and I have been searching for this tool and wondering what we should get. I ordered this yesterday:


If you'd like to learn more about our fabulous Dyson DC18 bagless upright vacuum cleaner, including a wonderful 360 degree picture of it and some "movies" of its fine features, click here.

Anyhow, then there are the "hidden" costs. Things that you'd never really think about if you've never bought a house before... like the GST (on a house! think about it!!!), though this only applies to new homes. Like the property transfer tax (a ridiculous tax instituted by our provincial government - 2% on the first $100K and 1% thereafter - do the math, it adds up), though we were able to get out of this one as 1st time buyers. Like the legal fees (probably over $1000 for almost anyone), the home insurance ($100s of dollars each year), your assumed portion of the hydro/water/etc bills, and some more. My favorite is that you pay property taxes in the middle of the year for the whole year. So we moved in May 1st and the taxes are billed mid-May for 2007. Lucky us! Either way you shake it, you're paying for the property taxes, so it'd come up anyhow, but yeah, good times (another $1000+)!

Needless to say, there are still more costs rolling in and Alex and I keep wondering what the end result of all this will be...we're glad to own finally and willing to take on this responsibility but wow. Just wow. I don't want to think about kids just yet :)

Be blessed!

...and knowing is half the battle!

Well, some have asked about the 12 toes...no comment. (It hurts to think about all the childhood torture...kids can be so cruel!)

Also, I mentioned a new blog. I have not received clearance to reveal its location: it is available on a need-to-know basis only. If you find it, DO NOT TELL ANYONE. To do so is to put yourself, your family, your pets and all you hold sacred at risk. This comes down from on high people! WAAAAY up the food chain. Don't mess with them, beeeeelieeeve me.

Love you all much. Be blessed!