If you read the title, you might be thinking:
1) FINALLY!
2) What kind of therapy, Brent?
3) Dude is getting weird...
And it doesn't really matter what you're thinking I suppose...it just matters what kind of pain I'm in. And boy, is therapy tough. I don't really think I like it even, but it is supposed to make me healthier and I want that.
Us ninjas have it rough.
26.9.07
20.9.07
Big Pillow
Are you a Scrubs fan?
I've been watching this show (from Season one through the middle of season 4 now) on DVD and have been surprised with the bold qualities given to the characters, even their relationships with one another. They are so often stark contrasts to one another, reminding me that this is indeed a TV show (and these personalities would never "work" in real life), yet at the same time, alluding to the quirkiness and unbelievable nature of our realities. I really enjoy the balance of comedy and drama on the show.
Well, I bring this up because there are alot of obstinate personalities on Scrubs and it seems that the best way to have those personalities interact on a TV show is to provide them with "pillows" that they can pound on episode to episode. JD is a pillow and so is Elliot. Ted is the ultimate pillow. These softies get punched and poked and kicked and generally mistreated and then go on. They may complain a little and every once and awhile receive some genuine compassion, but mostly, they just take it. I've been shocked lately to realize I am mostly pillow too.
I've always been a "strong" personality. I still am for the most part, but dealing with teens on a regular basis has pillowized me I believe. I don't like to get mad, or especially yell. I can be firm, but repetitious scolding is more annoying to me than to the scolded I've observed. So, eventually I pillow out and just take it.
Pillows cannot discipline. They can't really lead. They can't motivate others. They're just soft; easy to push and prod. I know that teens don't need pillows as leaders, they need rocks. Firm, solid, consistent. So why is being a pillow easier? Cause it allows you to put the blame on everyone else and their misbehavior, not on your inability to lead. So if I know that, where's the rock I used to be?
I've been watching this show (from Season one through the middle of season 4 now) on DVD and have been surprised with the bold qualities given to the characters, even their relationships with one another. They are so often stark contrasts to one another, reminding me that this is indeed a TV show (and these personalities would never "work" in real life), yet at the same time, alluding to the quirkiness and unbelievable nature of our realities. I really enjoy the balance of comedy and drama on the show.
Well, I bring this up because there are alot of obstinate personalities on Scrubs and it seems that the best way to have those personalities interact on a TV show is to provide them with "pillows" that they can pound on episode to episode. JD is a pillow and so is Elliot. Ted is the ultimate pillow. These softies get punched and poked and kicked and generally mistreated and then go on. They may complain a little and every once and awhile receive some genuine compassion, but mostly, they just take it. I've been shocked lately to realize I am mostly pillow too.
I've always been a "strong" personality. I still am for the most part, but dealing with teens on a regular basis has pillowized me I believe. I don't like to get mad, or especially yell. I can be firm, but repetitious scolding is more annoying to me than to the scolded I've observed. So, eventually I pillow out and just take it.
Pillows cannot discipline. They can't really lead. They can't motivate others. They're just soft; easy to push and prod. I know that teens don't need pillows as leaders, they need rocks. Firm, solid, consistent. So why is being a pillow easier? Cause it allows you to put the blame on everyone else and their misbehavior, not on your inability to lead. So if I know that, where's the rock I used to be?
13.9.07
Madness
As Ashley so subtly points out (comments here) I have let another month slip away. Ahh the bravado of youth, moved to motion by the stream of loss yet never making progress against the current of dispair. Sigh. I will miss you 08.07.
Ok, so I figure that stream of posting has certainly run its course (if it ever had a course to begin with). Sorry about that :)
Now, life this last year has been different from what I was expecting. I've ended up with a couple of internet habits that have drained the online time resevoir that I own (eBay and Heroclix, not porn, thank you). You see, I believe that everyone of us has a storage of allowable internet reading/surfing time and that amount varies significantly for each of us. Just as a world-class marathon runner can dip into his willpower and keep going for much longer than any of us could imagine, some people have that willpower accessible to prolong their internet time. I do not have this gift. My time is finite and when it gets used up, I can't do anymore (away from me foul computer!!). So my blogging has been the casualty of other interests. As much as I attempt to remedy this, it is an inevitable battle, destined for defeat...
Which brings up the concept of priorities.
pri·or·i·ty /praɪˈɔrɪti, -ˈɒr-/[prahy-awr-i-tee]
1. the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc.
2. the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence.
3. the right to take precedence in obtaining certain supplies, services, facilities, etc., esp. during a shortage.
4. something given special attention. –adjective
5. highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.
You know, I don't think that many people in this world understand the concept and how it makes bold statements about their lives (mine included). You see, I'm a youth pastor and I'm proposing a change of date for the youth night (from a Friday to a Tuesday) and have been riddled with opinion about why Tuesdays are bad. Now, some of the reasons are legitimate and important while other reasons are mere excuses or poor assumptions, but all of them reflect priorities. For example, if you can't make it to youth because you have dance, that's a perfectly justified reason and it reflects that dance is more important to you than youth group on Tuesdays, because that's what you would choose. You can make the choice to be involved in all kinds of additional youth things (special events, small groups, Friday service, etc) in the absence of Tuesdays. You would still be involved and maybe would grow to prioritze Tuesday youth over dance in the future, but maybe not. Either way, there are choices to be made and each and every one of us reveals our priorities in these choices.
I really believe that I understand the concept of priority...and then I think about my life and realize what I reveal about what is important to me....
I never call my friends. I seem content to hermit myself and do my own thing most of the time. Is that a quality priority?
I rarely talk to my family. I do make sure to see them when I can (getting to family weddings, home for Christmas, etc), but their day to day lives are a mystery to me. Is that a quality priority?
I have read hundreds of comic books this month and barely read my Bible. Is that a quality priority?
I see myself as an equipper and trainer of leaders and haven't recruited a solid group of leaders to train since the DOC days. Is that a quality priority?
I could go on, and I think if you take the time to look at your life, so could you.
This isn't about judgement and sad feelings and making decisions to change the world because I now know these areas in my life are weaknesses and reflect poor choices...lack of priority. It IS about accountability: something that is lacking in many of our lives. Being accountable to people who have permission to challenge you about your priorities and what you're choosing will make a world of difference! Bringing up these choices on a regular basis and shooting light into areas of darkness (where you're blind to see what's really going on)...that could help alot.
What do you think?
Ok, so I figure that stream of posting has certainly run its course (if it ever had a course to begin with). Sorry about that :)
Now, life this last year has been different from what I was expecting. I've ended up with a couple of internet habits that have drained the online time resevoir that I own (eBay and Heroclix, not porn, thank you). You see, I believe that everyone of us has a storage of allowable internet reading/surfing time and that amount varies significantly for each of us. Just as a world-class marathon runner can dip into his willpower and keep going for much longer than any of us could imagine, some people have that willpower accessible to prolong their internet time. I do not have this gift. My time is finite and when it gets used up, I can't do anymore (away from me foul computer!!). So my blogging has been the casualty of other interests. As much as I attempt to remedy this, it is an inevitable battle, destined for defeat...
Which brings up the concept of priorities.
pri·or·i·ty /praɪˈɔrɪti, -ˈɒr-/[prahy-awr-i-tee]
1. the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc.
2. the right to precede others in order, rank, privilege, etc.; precedence.
3. the right to take precedence in obtaining certain supplies, services, facilities, etc., esp. during a shortage.
4. something given special attention. –adjective
5. highest or higher in importance, rank, privilege, etc.: a priority task.
You know, I don't think that many people in this world understand the concept and how it makes bold statements about their lives (mine included). You see, I'm a youth pastor and I'm proposing a change of date for the youth night (from a Friday to a Tuesday) and have been riddled with opinion about why Tuesdays are bad. Now, some of the reasons are legitimate and important while other reasons are mere excuses or poor assumptions, but all of them reflect priorities. For example, if you can't make it to youth because you have dance, that's a perfectly justified reason and it reflects that dance is more important to you than youth group on Tuesdays, because that's what you would choose. You can make the choice to be involved in all kinds of additional youth things (special events, small groups, Friday service, etc) in the absence of Tuesdays. You would still be involved and maybe would grow to prioritze Tuesday youth over dance in the future, but maybe not. Either way, there are choices to be made and each and every one of us reveals our priorities in these choices.
I really believe that I understand the concept of priority...and then I think about my life and realize what I reveal about what is important to me....
I never call my friends. I seem content to hermit myself and do my own thing most of the time. Is that a quality priority?
I rarely talk to my family. I do make sure to see them when I can (getting to family weddings, home for Christmas, etc), but their day to day lives are a mystery to me. Is that a quality priority?
I have read hundreds of comic books this month and barely read my Bible. Is that a quality priority?
I see myself as an equipper and trainer of leaders and haven't recruited a solid group of leaders to train since the DOC days. Is that a quality priority?
I could go on, and I think if you take the time to look at your life, so could you.
This isn't about judgement and sad feelings and making decisions to change the world because I now know these areas in my life are weaknesses and reflect poor choices...lack of priority. It IS about accountability: something that is lacking in many of our lives. Being accountable to people who have permission to challenge you about your priorities and what you're choosing will make a world of difference! Bringing up these choices on a regular basis and shooting light into areas of darkness (where you're blind to see what's really going on)...that could help alot.
What do you think?
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