My wife has left me. She has her reasons...good ones even:
Needs to travel.
Wants to help others.
I didn't clean the toilet in time (no, I still haven't cleaned it thanks).
Ok, so she didn't leave because of the dirty toilet, nor any other negative reason; she is away on a missions trip to the Philippines! She left on Sunday night (Monday morning) at 2am and I haven't seen her face since 1:15am. That's just over 40 hours. Not so long, and not our longest time apart, but the kicker is that there are 264+ more hours to come on top of that! I miss her terribly and hate being without her.
The thing I realized last night is that everything really does change when you get married. I was 30 on the day of my wedding and had experienced a whole bunch of singleness in the years prior to that blessed day. But in all my days of being single, while I may have had lonely moments, nothing matches the loneliness I felt last night. It is the proven reality that you can only really miss something when it's gone (i.e.- you had it before and now you don't)...
When I was lonely as a single person, it hurt. It was sad. It was depressing. But I didn't know what I was missing. I was never really aware of any void.
Now, there is a VOID. It's big, it's bad, it's ugly. Something dramatic and significant (all-encompassing) has gone missing and left a hole where it once sat. Crazy kind of lonely.
I don't bring this up to drum up sympathy or tell a sad tale. I bring this up because today, for the first time in my 32 years of life, I can at least begin to understand what it might be like to lose someone. I will see Alex in 264+ hours (God willing) and the void will go away for me. But there are many without that great fortune. So today, think about someone in your life who may be staring at that void and pray for God to love them like He's loved no other, that they may be touched by the richness of HIS mercy and the comfort of His peace.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
2 comments:
awww... you miss Alex!! Joels new job is him gone normally 2 weeks a month... but we do ok with talking on the phone and MSN... plus when he comes back he gets 2 weeks off straight which is really good catch up time.
I'm used to you only posting about once a month imagine my suprise when I find so many new posts!!
It's crazy how tough it can be eh? After being fine on your own for so long, all of a sudden being without your spouse is something so new and difficult.
I'm glad you are both willing to take opportunities like this though, that Alex is able to go overseas and that she will be coming back shortly.
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